A lonesome part of the mind writes

​I wonder, where do visions go? When we dream of something and let it go, does it just disappear?
Miracles don’t happen, like those Hollywood action blockbusters. I really wish miracles did happen, but that would make life very boring if everything just happened. Heroes don’t always have to win, don’t always have to be the one achieving wonders. It can be you, them, me, side kicks, or antagonists. I don’t qualify to say this, I know but waiting for the miraculous moment, hoping for a saviour is very boring. Things don’t just happen without a reason or perserverence. If it did, we would have a very monotonous life, a very monotonous schedule, a dull life. Life’s biggest present is life itself. I have always thought of it as an open world game. It is funny how simple it instantly becomes but I forgot that while forgetting it. I forgot life has options, which you take, then becomes decisions, and later becomes something I would term as my choices. It is upon these decisions that designs you and let’s you play the game. Life is a game and we are all just our own renditions at it. Even in games, miracles don’t happen, only countless hours of gameplay or cheats.  
At times, it may sound like a lot, I honestly don’t have a lot going on. Just some lines along an empty space and time.
Thank you for reading, human.

Dec 11 | The Sour observations

Life is not easy. I bet we have all heard that a minimum of 10 times to lessen the exaggeration, and this article will not be any different from any of the previous 10 times, but may serve as a reminder to those who forget it. Some people have nowhere to go to, to shed a tear, no one to  hold on to when they can not walk by themselves. Not everyone is blessed with an equal amount of a particular emotional state to fill their life as well as everyone’s life with, but every one is, I believe equipped with an immense courage and heart to make their life… Nay! Turn their lives so. I see that in some people, and if it exists, it exists, man. We all have that capability to run. We can run away from it all, make some sort of a believable excuse to ourselves why we couldn’t do what we couldn’t do. We can also run towards the wall, hit it till it crumbles down, even if it doesn’t break, just to let the ones around us know what we are doing and there is more to life, that there is another option to than just running away and never finding out if the grass is greener on the other side. 

2. True love or peace can never exist without proper and intentional understanding. We see something that we do not like or, something that doesn’t accord to our “rules” and “guidelines” and “culture” and “society” and “sobriety”, and we move on to hate that factor as the ultimatum in everday life, but, what we could gain, has been already lost in the process of analysis but no understanding. Our opinions have been ” destroyed” and “biased”. When both the parties/sides, see that, that unity and cooperation are knowledge, and knowledge is a part of the understanding and understanding as an essential piece of the puzzle, can we bring more people closer and truly understand some one else, or, the person sitting next to us. 
Note: 

• try not to foresee but listen and understand. 
• Many people have lesser blessings but greater compassion, courage, and heart.

Trip : Day 2 | Go trekking and scenes from the greener side

It was about 5:30 when I decided to get up. Sat there for 5 minutes on the edge of the bed, just trying to let the slumber fade away, brushed my teeth, and stepped out. It seemed a little new to me, that there wasnt the same intensity of the sun when I woke up just 5 minutes ago. The staff at the camp had taken an order for a cup of morning tea the night before, so, just when I went in to have a wash, the tea had arrived and was served on the table, ready and hot. Soon after that, I got the permit and a guard cum guide, which is mandatory to enter the forest with, to go trekking. There was a bit of delay, though. So, despite our plans to leave by 6-6:15, we had to wait till 6:30 am, and, I tell you, if you wait just 15 minutes longer, it would feel like you started mid day. The trekking starts by first, getting you across the river, kameng/jiya bhoroli, on a wooden boat. The whole ride is just pleasantly beautiful, and must be the first shot of Nameri’s Cupid. Once on the other side, you must cross the deep sands of the banks and reach the camp on the other side, where you cut the tickets, show your IDs and move on. The walk from the boat to the camp must be around half a kilometer. The best advice is to stick to the edges of the banks! We trekked for about 7 kilometers through plain bushes and shrubs, trees brought down by Elephants, wet lands, where logs are laid for convenient crossing. The main attraction there are the birds according to the staff and the guards. Dont forget to pack binoculars and zoom lenses if you are planning for a bird watch! Halfway in, we were treated by the paw prints of a tiger. It seemed not too while ago as it was quite intact and not messed with by any foreign item. Next, we heard some deer barkings and came across fresh elephant droppings. The later put us on a sort of “alert mode”. You see, I don’t know about anyone else, but I think I speak for generally anyone who has ever been inside a forest and came face to face with Wild Elephants, when I say, that the elephant deserves its own share of respect. The guards soon asked us to keep up the pace for safety. I was a little in awe of the shuffle of emotions from curious to cautious. As to make things more complicated, on one of the frequent halts, when the guard gives you the names of something he spots, there came a shrieking cry that just blistered its sonic way over the jungle. It was short, loud, unexpected, and the only one. We knew what it was. The guard had told us before. We saw the paw prints along the way. It was a tiger kill. He must have had the deer by its throat in the first attempt. The whole of the forest, as if, went into sudden numbness. We instinctively were constrained of our movements. As we waited for a few seconds and let our senses come back, we looked at the guard and around us. We knew, and he knew, we were not alone, but, somehow, as if a burden has been taken off us, as if a debt has been paid by someone else for us, we trekked to completion. It is strange how a feeling of fear can be changed by the final futile call from the wild itself, to an emotion of sticking to your plan, bringing you to the things you’d better do. Soon after, about 20 minutes, we arrived back at the camp from where we got those tickets. We rested for about 5-10 minutes there. Entered our names and signatures, and headed on back to the boat. It was as if the experiences of fear and anticipation were forgotten and we were all just truly happy to do what we’d come to do. Satisfied, we took the boat to travel back to the other side of the river. The trekking experience was good. Also, it was quite hot, this time of the year. The beauty of the Kameng or Jiya-bhoroli is breathtaking. The river, white sandy  and lush green shrubs and the blue mountains and ice caped Himalayas in the distance; all those shades of blue, white and, green make for a scenic view. Rowing on the kameng gives you a divine and serene feeling. Ah, it has been worth a trip! 

If you are there by any chance on a clear day in the winter or spring, try rafting level 1. 

Trip : Day 1 ( at camp)

It was a childhood desire of mine to go trekking or camping, especially somewhere I’d feel vulnerable and experience what I wanted to feel out of it. So, I decided to go campin’ plus, trek at sunrise. Also, the other part of the plan was to go to a place where I could get an authentic taste of the way of life of people I hadn’t interacted with, before. So, with all the good anxiety and my personal stuff I traveled to Nameri national park, which is located some 50 kms from Tezpur, Assam, India. It is  along the sides of the Kameng River out of Arunachal, or what is here, in Assam, known as Jia-bhoroli. The place where the park is situated is called Potasali, and some 26 KMs from Arunachal Pradesh. It took around 2 and 1/2 hours from Nagaon to reach there without any stops. We had booked a tent in a place called the Eco camp. It is an ideally located place just a kilometer away from the river. You have to go off-road to reach the camp site and travel further 1 km off road to reach the banks of the river, from where the trekking starts. We will get to that in some time. The camp is situated inside a village composed and maintained by the locals of Potasali. The air, so “light”, very refreshing and has the feel of natural balance between man and the flora and fauna carried with it. Yes, it is a place to be if you want to be secluded away from all your worries. They gave us a tent to spend the night and we planned to be checking out by 12 next noon and travel to Arunachal for sight seeing. The evening had already arrived on our arrival to the camp. We had tea and snacks and soon the fire was lit in the open space just in front of the tents and we spent the cold evening by it. The place was soon very lively. Maybe, because of all the conversation and ‘liveliness’ or maybe because of some other factor among which I can only name one or two, despite the camp being so eco friendly, seemed more like an artificial lodging in the forest to me. There was the touch of mankind in the way things were carried out, primarily, by the guests. Maybe I am wrong to say so or expect it to be less lively in a forest where I’d gone mainly to be alone with myself and be one with nature but, out of all the things, this is the one thing I felt odd about. Anyway, after the fire and the commotion was over, we headed for dinner. The food tasted very homely, and was a thing, being Assamese , I admired. Soon, I came back to my tent and hit the bed. The night at the start looked long. I was both anxious, as well as longing for some sleep. Once there would be “hoot hoots” followed by high pitched “me me’s”, next there would be the guarding dogs growling at something, or perhaps at each other, and the next moment there would be complete silence. The cycle continued until at about 10:3o pm, when I fell asleep. Yeah, about the dogs, I think they bonded with me. By the fire they would keep following whenever I switched places, and in the morning I found one sleeping by the fire and the other, named ” Tiger” just in front of our tent, right by the zip. I woke up couple of times in the morn, though. Once at 3:30 and next at 5:30, when I just had to get up. You know when u plan something in the early morning you most generally wake up before time? Anyway, morning came early… Nah! I should say, “quick.” Will tell all about it on the next post. 

 

Being Back Home

Life is simple here at home. Not much to worry about… About the complexities of life. People drive like shit, but it doesn’t matter at the end of the day. You do your household activities/office hours and them you go back home, eat and sleep. You are always with your family and loved ones. Nature is bountiful, too, and very generous. Superstition is there, as is everywhere, but that doesn’t interfere with life. I met my cousins, friends, uncles and aunts. They are all good people as they have always been. Some times, on some occasions I do feel down a bit, but, now as I write this, on the roof, when the home-wind touches my hair and face, it really doesn’t matter. Being back home again has taught me things that I can’t quite put down, yet. I hope I am able to do that, soon. I have also felt and seen things that seemed lost somewhere to me. 

P.S. I plan on doing a little travelling activity to find some answers and I want to take in as much as possible. 

Till next time

Home dreamin’ space blue

​

​I dream. I dream a lot. Sometimes, I dream in pictures, sometimes, I dream in words, sometimes, in the sounds and the songs, sometimes in the smell of a familiarity. I guess it is not uncommon to dream in the taste of all such flavours, of homes and houses, of streets and pathways, that, often, seem to lead me back to the familiarities of which I dream. Also, I think not that a man may not be lost in all such conundrum of words, that, sometimes seem to go astray themselves. I owe it to my nativity on which I’d been brought up, and toward which I shall make this full circle. I hope to find my full-stops somewhere, but for now, at home I rest.

The inner kid

I have always been a kid at heart. I am 24 now, but I am just a grown boy. I am still very much the same kid who got all moody because someone was calling names or kept smiling to take it all in and let no one know. What would I say, if I visit that time again. I guess, I will pat his back, smile and say, “it is going to be okay. You are going to be the best at who you are, and you are always with me, the better part of me. Let us meet again… When you are me.” 

It gives a peacefulness when you induce such an innocent thought. Just imagine that you were to meet your 7-10 years old, what would you say? Doesn’t it bring to you a smile? 

Daily Prompt: Sincere

via Daily Prompt: Sincere

What is sincerity? Who is Sincere? The most common answer to this would be an infant, free of corruption, ill thoughts, hate, envy, etc. But, why do we say that these thoughts are bad? Or bad is some thing to stay away from? We know, and have well experienced cases and situations when we ourselves dwell around the negativity of our own thoughts, or someone near us. The “Bad” makes you feel weak, devastated, ill, tired, and so on. It is like a hue of colour. Take for example the colour black. Once you go black on a stroke of the brush, you can never go back. Black mixes into any hue and turns it darker and grim. For some it is art, and it is a necessary piece for a painting. But in life… Life is just like a fresh white Canvas – so is innocence, but just for the convenience of the story we would take them as the same thing, which according to literature giants is not. It is free of all the experiences to be drawn upon it, maps of places visited to be laid down, colours of emotion to be painted on, and Sincerity… well, it is the careful use of your strokes. It is the art of where to smudge and where to draw, it is an ethic of the way to paint the world on your finest canvas you have ever received. Where you would use smudges and where you’d like it to stay sharp and contrast from the background, is up to you, and have probably defined the outcome for many of my experiences. Sincerity lets many people know where to use an emotion, follow a thought, or evade from pulling a trick on your parents, your friends, your lover. Most people are not painters or artists, neither am I, but I understand the logic of sincerity this way very well, and I hope you were cleared on a thing or two, too. So, by being sincere you are not only a good moral person, but (subconsciously) you have mastered the art of a life devoted to giving. Life is about giving and expecting no returns. If you are sincere to this motto, you may soon realize how fulfilled your life is.

This was my frail attempt to write a few things down on Sincere and Sincerity.

Speak up

Speak up, when you have to say. Speak up, when you need to say. Speak up, for yourself, no, not defending yourself. Speak up, for what is right. You have been done wrong, when you don’t speak up when it is right to speak up. Speak up, stand up for yourself if you find standing up for yourself is too daunting to do. At least speak, just say what it is. Because, it does not matter if you are right by controlling yourself to not aggravate a situation, the situation within you starts aggravating from then on. Don’t leave your inner voice alone. Give him/her company, appreciate the effort and speak up. Fight!

Colourfully shy reflection

​You see some people will underestimate you. They don’t want you to know. They don’t Care that they don’t want you to know. What they know is that you can’t be whom you can be. They don’t know you, they don’t know what’s inside of you, and for this they hate you. They hate you because they don’t know what is inside of you. They will underestimate you. Maybe they are happy living under their own shell of the world, but they are happy. Damn, even enemies are good. They have honour. They have respect for you. They envy you for your potential. But some people don’t even want to be in your level. What is it called? Disgust? I am not sure about the right word here… and I don’t want to use the wrong word, man. 

Sadly to us, the lucky folks to realize this, is that the world has more of the people who do not know you, rather than those who want to be enemies with you. Those who underestimate you come in all shapes and sizes, man. All matter. They come in as your friend. They make you feel like you have some connections with them, and before you know it, they seem to know everything about you, and soon, as time passes by, you realise that they really don’t. Then the spiral begins, they know you, man. They have every pre conceived idea about you and your stories. One day you realize that, “hey, you don’t know that. You don’t even know if it’s happened.” But to them and to the world, it has happened, not as how you’ve experienced but by how they described the event. And it will be site to behold where the hero sits in the corner and the clown steals the show. 

You see, you have described everything as per truth goes. As per you are, you’d lived, but one day you come to terms that, “okay, you know, maybe I am wrong. Maybe I need to dissolve my colours to choke the drinker. “ I don’t know about these people. To me, enemies are worthwhile than those who underestimate me. They have more meaning in them.