Long ago, when I was maybe about 11-12 years old I had a dream. I used to play and watch this wonderful sport, idolized these guys with their colours, orange, blue, red and yellow. In a few years when I was connected to the world via the internet I did all sorts of research, talked to.people who were as passionate as me and actual riders and also found where to start. My mum encouraged me but soon I was told it is not for me. There is no future with it, and that you must study and be a reputable man in the things that you can do. So yes, I realize now, I was evaluated a long ago before actually trying it out for real. With that chapter closed I had given up on all sorts of vehicle interest or the desire to ride any motorcycle. After a couple of years I started liking the music that I hated. I once described music to be something that people with really no taste would enjoy, despite being trained in vocals for half a year. I couldn’t bear it then, but I not only could bear it I enjoyed it, now, and maybe also because I was actually making music on the guitar. Many years passed music remained constant. My humble and true friend, whatever the time. So, after completing my b.sc I enquired if I could pursue music as a career. Take an actual course and while doing the thing I loved maybe make a career at it. I was told the same, a thing not for me, and also that it is for people who have it in them not for me. I wouldn’t be able to do it, and surely my family wouldn’t support it and encouraged me to do it after I get a job no matter how old and how my brain juice would remain be. So, I suck it up, admitted that maybe I was wrong and carried on to the same field I completed my bachelor’s in. Even though I was unable to pursue it as a career I stuck to it and have made and created music since then, but my course had shifted and I became less and less familiar with my second love. A couple of years later, after getting rejected every place I gave an interviee at for about 4-5 times, i finally looked at the mistakes that I made and found the third love of my career, that is being ricocheted from everywhere else, something in my course of study, animation. However, I am being told to pursue an MBA or an MCA. Why? Because it is not for middle class people and certainly not for someone who has been rejected at interviews. So, I ask myself, what more do I need to love to do? What more will I be forced to swallow before I actually end up having nothing , despite doing everything as asked but nothing as I want?
You see a self help peaceful enlighteninh knowledge source for some condition you believe you have that you also believe is bad when you see the ad of this self help.peaceful enlightening knowledge source for some condition you believe you have that you also believe is bad. What you do is fund the campaign, the cause, the research, the book, the speech or whatever shit it maybe, join in, and fund this. Then this campaign, the cause, the research, the book, the speech or whatever sjit is maybe gets big and so does the campaigns, the cause, the researchers, the authors, and all the megalomaniacs associated with it. Now again, you fund the campaign hoping that you’d be happy if you took that self help peaceful enlightening knowledge source for some condition that you believe is bad for you that will help you reach the fuck yes level of the campaigns, the cause, the researchers, the authors, and all the megalomaniacs and be happy. The cycle goes on. Why? Because happy person doesn’t desire to be happy and content, he/she just is. He/she doesn’t spend his life hours to work better to look better. He/she is a real booty call just like that.
I wonder, where do visions go? When we dream of something and let it go, does it just disappear?
Miracles don’t happen, like those Hollywood action blockbusters. I really wish miracles did happen, but that would make life very boring if everything just happened. Heroes don’t always have to win, don’t always have to be the one achieving wonders. It can be you, them, me, side kicks, or antagonists. I don’t qualify to say this, I know but waiting for the miraculous moment, hoping for a saviour is very boring. Things don’t just happen without a reason or perserverence. If it did, we would have a very monotonous life, a very monotonous schedule, a dull life. Life’s biggest present is life itself. I have always thought of it as an open world game. It is funny how simple it instantly becomes but I forgot that while forgetting it. I forgot life has options, which you take, then becomes decisions, and later becomes something I would term as my choices. It is upon these decisions that designs you and let’s you play the game. Life is a game and we are all just our own renditions at it. Even in games, miracles don’t happen, only countless hours of gameplay or cheats.
At times, it may sound like a lot, I honestly don’t have a lot going on. Just some lines along an empty space and time.
Thank you for reading, human.
Do You know what leeches are? I bet you do, but I am going to remind you again to link to you what I type here and what I want you to learn. Well, leeches are… leeches. One fine day you decide that you want to go to a swamp because you have an undesirable liking for the place that people usually detest. So, you go there and you walk through it. You roam around hacking and slashing your way to and back. Upon reaching dry land and sitting down for leisure you feel a little odd down your spine. You move your hand over it and feel this sticky, slimy, throbbing, pulpy piece of filth on your skin. You are captivated by disgust, shock and fear. So, what do you do? Well, either burn it a little or pull it out and throw it to the swamp it crawled into you from. That’s what leech is, it sucks your blood, that’s it. It is what they do, their purpose and their way of life. They don’t know that. Because to them, sucking your blood is a natural process, but, to you, it is chore of the lowest specie. No hateful games just plain disgust. Now, in our folks, we have a saying, “tez khua”, which translates to blood sucker. We call people blood sucker as gruesome and cruel as it may sound, which, to me, seems no different than sucking the life out of you. Of course, this, we mean it metaphorically. Blood flows through your veins. It gives you life, it keeps you alive, it is what keeps you going. Your assets, physical and mental, your happiness, your treasures, goals, ambitions, and shit, those are the things that keep you going and those are the things inside of you each minute of your day. But, every now and then, a leech leeches on to your feet from a swamp and you do not notice. You only realise it when you either feel that uneasy feeling that leeches produce or when you are drained out of blood. You have nothing to do, now, yes? All that you can do, now, is to take a toothpick, unhook them, and throw them back to their loving swamp until it leeches onto some other adventurer’s feet and continue their innocent chore all life long.
Leeches are dangerous. It is not necessary for you to live with them. Unhook and dispose of them when you spot one on yourself before it is too late, for your own life, because you owe yourself love.
Who gives the morning sun
To light a million smiles?
Who writes the suites of passion
To turn joy from a peasant’s cry?
Who blames himself
When doubts deafen the soul,
And overcome sadness
To escape from what people mould?
Dawn, sweat and dusk,
All ways lead to one
That an end is must
For those under the same sun.
“Survival of the Fittest.”
When I was younger I imagined it nothing more than devouring, bombing, punching the bully for taking my lunch, good grades and a good job, powerful armies, and greatness and economic worth of a nation or a group of people or just an individual. As days and years went by and nights spent pondering about the complexities of life – though I am not a Guru, or an expert, and you don’t have to agree to what I say – I have come to concentrate on the emotions and behaviours that truly define Evolution, which in turn is Survival of the Fittest, because those who evolve, adapt, and those who adapt, live. What I want to say is “Evolution” is not just simply standing erect, picking up your suitcase and trunk, moving to different places, signing business contracts, disputing over energy/resources and human lives. You see, human evolution is the single greatest gift which has gifted us so much more than we are capable of recognizing. “There’s so much more than we are.” I can not emphasize enough about what I think are these “gifts” that I am talking about. Many of you know them, use them and appreciate them, and are grateful for them, but there are many of us who don’t. I want to direct this message to those who see, but not comprehend, to those who hear but not listen, those who have ideas but don’t express, those who want to weep but revolt, those who laugh but not smile, those who have feelings and emotions but lie to themselves. You know what to do. As a human being, what creation or evolution, whatever you may believe in, has given us is, and if you can’t find out the reason, there is so much more than we are.
Thunder, lighting, tremors and rain
A silent losing battle inside my brain
No one seem to understand quite
The isolation and end that I desire
Contempt and grin behind their eyes
While I succumb to their laugh and whine
A secret memorabilia of an old friend
The Darkness in me never seems to end
Wish that I could run away from it all
find shelter under an angel’s breath
Question my courage and I will not refuse
to answer your crimes in hell’s due
What awaits there shouldn’t bother me now
Because I know good people end up how
No more Mr. Nice Guy to you
I have always found joy in solitude
I hare crimes, Lord!
I am a beggar of justice
And if I’d overdone my pleads
Believe me when I have over done my deeds.