Anxiety is A-Go!

It is hard… To maintain the composure during the day. Let me put this as a late preface – The things that a naturally anxious or someone who suffers from a legitimately serious anxiety level desires, is to do the things that trigger their anxiety. It is sort of a mellow dream, or perhaps chasing a beautiful train of thoughts head on. When you stand there, at the moment, facing what seemed like a week’s plan on how to face it, the world spins, you get sweaty, your heart races, you… You feel anxious. It is so, obvious that, the very words you rehearsed in your mind in a picture perfect scenario, would fail to emerge. When you can’t “enjoy” life, when you fail to be on rhythm, fear or really do trip and fall on things. When you feel the spotlight is on you, and believe it or not… This is happening… This beautiful humiliation IS happening, and you along with so many others with their eyes pointed on you like arrows with the venom of a panic attack. What are you thinking at that point? What answers are you hoping to find? Whom do you look out to out of so many familiar faces? Do you feel a shortness of breath in this exposure to the rare, bold and rich cologne? Out of the corner of your eye, you see a calmly presented person, now. So much confidence in his voice. So much desire to hurt you, your pride, your ego, your thin fragile walls of laughter, you have to break. Every body breaks, but the anxious, they break 4 times when the lights go out and the spotlight of avoided glances hits their face.

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Gentle commotion – short on anxiety

Gentle commotion in my brain

Tearful extravaganza down the lane

Hearing things believed to be true

Finding naught left me mute

Cold showers and comfy lies

My company through the night

Wondering where I will end up was my thought

At first I seemed to be on course

Sore eyes, red and bloat,

Don’t mind when I shut the door

Imagine eventual calamity disengage

I stumble on place and panic and shame

Of all the things I wish not my friend

Gentle commotion never seems to end